If they message you first, you’ll get to (over)analyze their choice of joke, greeting, or observation about your profile pic. So you close the app, go about your amazing life, and then check it later to find there’s still no message from your match. What gives?! At this point, you’ll probably be wondering if women should message first on dating apps and the answer is – yes, girl!
4 percent of women say that women should send the first message compared to 9.8 percent of men who say the same. So why am I suggesting that you message first? Number one, if you don’t message your match and they don’t message you (for whatever reason), then you’re going to miss out on a potentially amazing connection. Sending the first message is a step towards taking control of your dating life and being proactive, which energetically brings you a sense of power.
Of course, messaging first expresses interest that could the be rebuffed by your match, and no one likes rejection. Perhaps that’s why women are 25 percent more likely to prefer men to message first than their male counterparts, according to data from Tinder. However, receiving a message from someone you’ve matched with is likely welcome attention, since you did match with them, after all! So while the risk of rejection can be daunting, the reward might just be worth it.
In terms of first messages, interestingly 4.7 percent of men and 1.9 percent of women prefer the opening line they receive to be a pickup line. While 17.2 percent of men and 13.3 percent of women prefer the opening line they receive to be a generic greeting. Additionally, 17.9 percent of men and 25.2 percent of women prefer the opening line they receive to be an observation about them, and 13.7 percent of men and 10.8 percent of women prefer the opening line they receive to be a joke. So while you might be tempted to write an opening message with a self-deprecating comment about yourself, most people prefer to receive an initial message about themselves.
Tinder also finds that the most popular kind of opening line to receive on a dating app is actually a message that signals investment. This could be asking the person out on a date, asking for their phone number or email to continue the conversation, or otherwise suggesting you truly want to get to know them. Whatever form the opening line takes, 61.2 percent of men and 70.7 percent of women prefer this kind of opening message.
If you’re considering sending the first message, considering combining an observation about your match with a signal of investmentment on their photos, ask about a pet they might be pictured with, and mention you’d really love to meet that pet. In case you’re a data-driven person, you might also appreciate knowing that Tinder users who send GIFs are 30 percent more likely to get a response and are more likely to have conversations that last twice as long as those who are GIF-less. So GIF it up, honey.
Not that we need reminding, but women can do literally anything and taking that first step could make you feel empowered and will certainly come across as confident. Confidence is super attractive and if you’re ballsy enough to message a stranger on an app, your match just might be curious to find out what else you’re doing with your fearless life. And because Tinder’s data have proven that women very rarely send the first message, doing so will certainly help you stand out from the crowd. So be bold, and type away!